Share the Love – Story 3: “Beauty From Ashes”

Submitted by: Kathryn Walker

My husband Tony and I married on April 20, 2019. We were both widowed in 2014, both married to our high school sweethearts for 40+ years. We had good marriages and rich lives- involved in our church communities with busy, active families. We lived in different communities and had no knowledge of each other. My 33 yr old daughter was doing chemo for bowel cancer when my husband suddenly got sick in 2014 and died. She died 6 months after my husband and her Mexican husband and 2 yr old son moved back to Mexico. My life was shattered, I was angry at God, bewildered and beyond understanding how a good God would allow such pain and tragedy. As I discovered, there was nowhere else to go (believe me, I tried!) so I came to recognize the faithfulness of God and the love He poured out on me through family and friends. It was a long, hard road of grieving but God truly does heal. But I had no desire to remarry; it seemed far too much work! I do remember saying that if God had someone for me, He’d have to drop him in my lap because I certainly wouldn’t look.

Tony lost his wife to cancer and turned to God and family in his grief. Two years of healing and he felt in a place to see if God had another partner with whom to share life.
In November of 2015 I shared my testimony in church – my messy grief journey and my emerging deep knowledge that God truly is faithful. Unknown to me, Tony’s eldest daughter lived in my town and was in the congregation that day. My testimony spoke to her and she started telling her dad he needed to meet me. It took him 2 years to look me up, a year of talking, meeting at times before we both realized God truly had brought us together. I was initially very sceptical; this was an honourable, family-oriented, faith-filled and humble man but did I really want another husband and how was I to reconcile the memories and loss of my first husband with loving this man. God kept speaking to me, kept telling me not to be afraid ( I really was quite terrified), and to trust Him. And I did say that God would have to drop a man in my lap! I joined his family for a Hawaii vacation and he asked me to marry him one day there while in the swimming pool. I said “yes, but no! You have to propose better than that! ” So we bought a ring together, very symbolic of his first wife’s memory, our mutual love of Hawaii and the love, peace and joy that Jesus brings. He then proposed on one knee on the beach and I said yes. We married a month later; Christ was central, our families were very involved in our wedding ceremony, both previous spouses were woven throughout and there were so many tears of happiness, memory and the incredible blessing of new love and dreams.

Beauty from ashes is our theme; we have a richness in our relationship that probably wasn’t there in our previous marriages. God is so wise; we complement each other so well, I am the organized one, he teaches me to be more spontaneous. We both love the outdoors -hiking, kayaking, and the beach. We love being with family and have a ‘perfect’ blended one. We take nothing for granted and marvel at the joy we have in life and the faithfulness of our God who gave us each other, and the gift of a great love twice! We have plans and dreams, always holding them with an open hand, and we live in the moment and so appreciate every small blessing, knowing we only really have this moment. We are so delighted with each other and all that God in His incredible grace, has given us. It’s been a whirlwind of a year – Tony retired, we sold his house and made my home and community our home, and we are now building an ‘our’ home surrounded by family and love, as 2 of his daughters, 5 grandchildren and my son live here. So much more than we could ever have asked or imagined. All the glory belongs to Him!